I believe in change. When I needed change in my life and my space, I've always resorted to grabbing the broom to clean. I have always been disappointed. It's like resorting to old ways to repair what had been lost. I have always just ignored the little things eventually making me realize that what I've done isn't enough.
The edges left unclean and I've ignored it just like I've ignored the broom I used being played by the cat in the house. I was clueless not realizing that the cat had pissed on the broom. I'd use it again sweeping the floor and would smell the cat's piss all over the place. I'd cry the whole night and reflect on all the things I've done. I'd imagine how much I had spent for buying the broom in Baguio and how painful it was carrying it home. I'd reflect on how much effort I had done sweeping all corners of my room and the stairs until the living room. I'd reflect on how the broom would fall off little by little trying to scrape the edges to get rid of the dust. It reminded me of how painful it was holding the broom making my palm really red. It was a waste of my time and I would continue to cry. It reminded me of how I'd scold the clueless cat of what it did to my broom. It reminded me of how I hated my senior citizen neighbors caring for so many cats that frolic in my space. It reminded me of how I felt regret ignoring everything. It was similar to my indifference to most of the things that I allow in my life. I've allowed many people take advantage of my kindness eventually making me feel sad. It was anger at first. Now it's really sad.
I was sad at the cat for having to endure my loud voice and snaring. I was sad at my old neighbors who are clueless and really compassionate to not just animals but me. I was sad at everything who had to experience my emotional outbreaks during those moments. I was sad at myself for having to go through all these.
When everything I've done failed, I just cried and cried. I know that the germs and the bacteria that will generate from the broom will continue to doom my house. I know I would've used another and not the broom. I know I should've asked for help. I know I need change! I want to start the doom of the broom. I need help!